The carcrash girl

it was the second Monday of March
she would leave me in seconds from now

”what the hell were you thinking when…”
”when you tried to feed me from the floor”
”ah, then”

she left me and left her tooth brush
but it wasn’t hers and neither was it mine
it must have been placed there just for fun
the door was still open
and the elevator down

I stood barking at myself for an hour
but what the hell, she came here at nine
refused to take a cab, even though I
asked her to grab one this only time, but no
that was not the proper way to work it
and things didn’t lie on the brilliant side

the morning after I knew what was to come
a cpap-demo and goodnight earth
a cpap-demo and goodnight earth
humidified, humiliated
humidified, humiliated
humidified, humiliated

miss carcrash had a broken budget
ran o f t with purple hair drugs
humidified, humiliated,

miss carcrash ran o f t trembling like my dog, and who the hell had left that tooth-brush
after dynamite and a too early flight

I was supposed to keep my gaffer
closed in my own bed, what
what the hell would that be good for

it wasn’t like I would scream:
”God how I loved to taste your…”
but that’s not important at this point
I still tried to recuperate, but
without proper understanding of
every aspect of what was important

humidifed, humiliated
I saw miss carcrash smile in her sleep
even when she was sitting in her car
singing like the coming victim of jamie gumb
six thousand reasons and all of them relevant
for each and one of us to be repatriated
(but she was no victim, no, whispered, whispered)

humidified, humiliated
how could I solve this sea of dog shit
if failing to do so, grind me down, bastard
smack me to the ground, I asked for it
you will hit back and his eye will fall
on the ground like before

it wasn’t his fault but neither was it theirs
the ringing ear would ring us to shallow, fearful sleep
humidified, humiliated, dressed in stupor
I fell asleep in the middle of my own boring sentence

got a broken rib, a broken rib
and miss carcrash just got her car back
driving blind-folded against the right direction
laughing with bubbling bomber-cop-mouth, then
standing on the brakes, doing what she can
to prevent death from getting access to her head

elevator up and all confiscated
no belt in the pants. I’m sorry dear delusion

graham coxon’s true and eerie smile
executive functioning was to save me
from my fear of being smaller than myself

humidified, humiliated
humidified, humiliated

miss carcrash left to get her car
there were more problems with it
than before she left it for them
to fix it, after first wanting to buy it
but it was funny to hear about it
like jalla jalla but for real

and now you would know my stomach starts to ache
shamelessly, fearlessly, completely without
anything between us but our own inscriptions
writing novels in an unknown language
for everyone to read, for no one to understand

for no one to understand

evan dando asked my friend for ha…
sch, is he yours, she said?
for everyone to read

for no one to understand

you are miss carcrash

you are miss carcrash.

© 2010- Jens Nilsson


One thought on “The carcrash girl

  1. Gianluca says:

    Jens, I love that!!!

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